Music is a perfect fodder to my starved soul and as I listen to the soothing strains, I can feel them washing over my whole being.

The word deficit still haunts and the desire to read wages a war against the time constraints and strangely wins as I find myself picking up Anna Karenina to take a Russian journey. Ah! The smell of books… no smell to beat this one! The process of holding a book and sifting through the pages is a spiritual activity for me. **I seem happy after an eternity, as there is no pleasure like the sight of words.**

What is left there to desire in life? Literally! Why am I always so contented or is it heavenly conjunction that keeps sighs away from my heart? Life could have been better and I could have attained so much but maybe peace would have been elusive so I prefer to count the present benedictions, have memories of past and look towards a myriad future. For me life is never black and white and why should it be when there are such beautiful colors in this world. Strangely the black and white are my favorite color tones when it comes to choosing clothes.

My glass window gives me happy sights to peep at as I steal glances at the freshly mowed green lawn, roses in full bloom, the vibrant poppies, the trimmed palms and the skeletal structure of the tree as it still bears vestiges of a fading spring.

Sometimes tears just fill the eyes and I let them awash me.. it is indeed healthy not to hold them back, rather let them flow in copious measures as they cleanse and lighten the spirit.  

I have been watching some good films lately, like Being Cyrus, Hazaron Khwaishen Aisi (yet again!), Water, Earth, Dor, to name a few. It is awesome mature Indian cinema. I have manufactured the defining distinction between films and cinema… I like to call serious, true to life films cinema while the rest belong to the creed of films and movies. I like the word cinema so any film that touches my cinematically sensible heart goes into the category of cinema. *i like Shiney Ahuja so much!*  

My romantic heart always dreamed of marrying a poet, a writer or a painter, maybe even all rolled into one but I can say a precise engineer is not a bad deal despite the fact he does not romance the words nor the mountains nor the symphonies but then his soul is too beautiful that he can be forgiven these inadequacies. ~Nods in agreement~ it is just all about how you perceive another and what you prefer to see and what you make peace with. Honestly, it is nice to be complemented with stability, precision, practicality, sincere judgment, and ability to arrive at a decision; all of which I am deficient in. Ultimately secure love wins against these funny dreamy notions and expectations!

The deep recesses of mind are afire with thoughts that are intertwined and intermingled in haphazard categories with no clarity. The thoughts fill my mind as the sky shrouds the nothingness, the dark space beyond. They too are spangled with crystal specks yet the over brimming mind is unable to make sense out of the wild disarray that it is in. The words long to pour forth yet none comes out, and the silences that surround me at this hour with the sight of swaying trees from my window, make me even more silent. There is rhythm in nature as the palm trees move lightly with the gentle wind and the quiet stillness outside broken by the mowing machine of the gardener. Sadly, these motions and sweet sounds are of no assistance to the process of building beautiful words. The heart goes in tizzy with emotions inexplicable. Sometimes it really has no idea what it wants as the mind is too subdued to dominate.

The music plays as if from some far off distances and the fingers dance in perfect spontaneous movements but the gray world seems too humdrum, too dreary to inspire that perfect piece of writing that lays somewhere beneath buried, and smouldering with desire to take that perfect form and shape. As I chase the mirage, I entrust the ticking time with the hope that someday the inner treasures will find an exquisite outlet, before the pallbearers arrive and take me to peak delights as I watch the resplendent dance of words in perfect harmony and synchronization.